no eye nada

12.5.98

I drove around town briefly this morning looking for something interesting going on, some event or occurrence that might engage my photographic eye. I found nothing. This, of course, was my fault, as there's always something out there. But today my head was just running in the wrong gear for that kind of hunt. When I'm into it, when I've found that groove where time disappears and I feel as if I'm wearing my environment, then my blood is up and more often than not I get one or two good shots. Those are wonderful pieces of time, when shapes and situations seem to dance together and I can ease myself into the mix to find the line and the light and the essence of the moment. It's a magical experience that's difficult to talk about because it seems there are elements at work that defy any sort of capture. Where expectation meets luck, and together they move into meaning, well, that's a spot I like to inhabit.

My camera and I did not go there today.

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It's weekend stuff. It's certainly the weekend in my head. Chores and catch-up, errands and chats. I did nothing today that required any real commitment. I was perfectly ready to have any plans derailed at a moment's notice.

While I was raking leaves in the yard today, Mike parked his truck in front of his house across the street and walked over. I told him I'd heard Iris bought a new car. We walked up the street and sure enough, there they were, Iris and her new Honda CRV, out in the street getting to know one another. We all chatted and hovered, poking around at the hooks and nooks and crannies that come with these things nowadays.

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We bought some new Xmas lights for the house last night. The icicle kind. All the rage, you know. There was a time when one's Xmas lights mattered much more to me than they do now. I'm at the point in my life where I don't much care. The Holiday Trapping Pendulum has swung to center, leaving me with no opinion about decor and symbols. Maybe this is just the coma before the storm.

I was just as unenthusiastic about Halloween this year. When I was a teenager I gave our house a reputation, rigging the place with all sorts of unique horrors. I went all out, putting on a small theatrical production for every group of trick-or-treaters that came by. Notoriety grew to the point where even the grownup Halloween enthusiasts, you know the ones, the women who go into full cackle and costume as witches, and the men who leave no fake bandage unbloodied, they'd all drive over from their own neighborhoods just to see my little vignettes. Every year, I could bank on a certain percentage of the younger kids bursting into tears of holy terror and running down the lawn, screaming. It was delightful. But no more. I suppose as I get older, and as Amy grows more independent, I'll be feeling the old urge to whip out the liver and ketchup, hook up the black lights, and find a good spooky organist.

And when I do, I know I'll have a wonderful partner in crime, as Amy's sense of holiday trappings has been snowballing. This past Halloween she was particularly macabre, exploring the thrills of well-placed rubber bats and perfectly hung spiders. And now at Christmastime she's gettin' all googly about Santa and snow and the season in general. Her mom is the better cohort for this current holiday though, as I'm more macabre than googly.

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I bought some new underwear today. That's more than you wanted to know, hunh?

Yep, my brain is pretty much disengaged this weekend. Just puttering along.

Today's Music:

"You Can't Always Get What You Want" -- Luther Allison -- PAINT IT, BLUE - SONGS OF THE ROLLING STONES

Wisdom of the Day:

"It is good manners which make the excellence of a neighborhood. No wise man will settle where they are lacking."

- Confucius, Analects