- 17 may 2004 -

One of the reasons I took a year off was to try to figure out what was going on inside my head because of that one huge event.

It happened almost three years ago and I still can’t talk about it without emotion or be certain about how it has affected me. My friend and his wife were among the first to die. They must’ve gone through unimaginable horror before AA Flight 11 crumpled into the first tower that morning. They were up front. First class. A Writers Guild benefit won years ago at the bargaining table enabled them to be delivered first and instantaneously into flame and glass and metal and dust. My friends were murdered. I am changed.

I still can't articulate the feelings I have.  They seem to be about 30% sadness and 70% anger but with a lot of other stuff mixed in.  And these days the list of who deserves shock and awe is growing larger and nearer.  Why does this not surprise me.

Another reason I took a year off was to learn some particular defensive skills.  It wasn't cheap but it was worth it.  And it turns out that I'm damned good at it.

The skills were necessary because I also built a corporation around photography, and my type of photography requires going to dangerous places at night with valuable equipment dangling off me.  After I have made the last tweaks to this beast I will tell you its name and URL and all that kinda stuff.

So, yeah, a lot has happened, a lot hasn't happened, and 'round and 'round we go, where we stop we just don't know.

It's good to be back.  I have much more to say and less time than ever to say it.  But life is way lots more bigtime thrilling than it used to be, and that's the way I likes it.

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"I Love Being Here With You" -- DIANA KRALL -- LIVE IN PARIS

today's wisdom:

"Force and Fraud are in war the two Cardinal virtues."

- Thomas Hobbes